This is the saddest blog post I've ever written, and I hope the saddest blog post I'll ever write, although I suspect it might not be.
One of my favourite sayings is "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" and this is a part of life that is inevitably painful.
Goldie the Dog, aka The Golden one, aka The Best Dog in The Universe has been slowing down with old age for the last 5 months, and the last few days she's deteriorated significantly.
I brought her in to the animal hospital as an emergency last night. It was then that I found out just how ill she was. The vet showed me the xrays from a month ago- there is tissue where air should be in her lungs (a tumour) the normal lung area was only about 10-20% of what it should have been.
She's had a glorious, happy life, and I sense that she must feel her job here is complete- she's loved me unconditionally since she was a year old (she became mine 15 years ago when I lived in Belfast) and during that time has been my most loyal and trusted friend- her life has been a huge SUCCESS.
She is comfortable right now, but hasn't improved significantly over night, so it looks like it might be today that we have to say our final goodbyes.
I am of course very sad about this, and have gone through more than my fair share of tissues already. The many, many wonderful loving messages I've received from all my friends is carrying me through, and I thank each of you for this, I am so blessed to have such caring, compassionate people in my life.
I set up a bed on the floor next to hers last night, and had some sporadic sleep in between rubbing her belly. I know she's good in herself, because each time I stopped rubbing her
belly she put her paw up to tell me "keep going- please more belly rubbing please".
Anyone that has met her in person will know that this is very much a typical Goldie the dog trademark- she's a sucker for love, simply couldn't get enough.
I've been honoured to have given her some of the love that she craves (her appetite for it is insatiable). But not only does she have an insatiable appetite for receiving love, she has a never ending source of love to give, indiscriminately to everyone she's ever met.
I have been blessed to have had the companionship of such a beautiful loving creature.
I can honestly say that I have never met a more loving dog, and even other dog owners (who of course love their dog more than any other dog in the world) secretly admit to themselves that Goldie probably is The Best Dog in the Universe, especially in the peaceful obedient, loving and loyal categories.
She's ever so peaceful and placid, her purpose in life was to please and love those around her, and I am so very honoured to have been her human for 15 years of her life.
Writing this is my way of remembering her, please feel free to leave messages for her (or me) below.
Here are just some of the many moments from those 15 years of her life with me: